Why Did I Want You There? by Quartz Shard Susan tucked her head under Deborah's chin and sighed. Deborah's body heat kept her warm on the cool night beach of New Salem. She could feel Deborah's fingers combing through her hair and she smiled. Deborah's tan fingers laced in her fire hair..how poetic. Cassie said something about it.Days were laced with fire. Susan purred and snuggled from Deborah's arms to lay her head on her lap. She head a throaty chuckle. "You're like a puppy..warm, soft, you smell good, and you like to cuddle." Susan turned her head and smiled up at Deborah. "You better not let the boys hear you talking like that. It could ruin your reputation. Bad-ass Deborah from Crowhaven talking about cute and cuddly puppies with her girlfriend." Susan giggled "They'll say you're whipped" She laughed until she shook her large chest jiggled.she didn't wear anything underneath. Deborah picked up some leaves and flicked them on Susan who squawked and sat bolt upright and rubbed her hair clean. Deborah laughed throatily and switched position with Susan and lay down on her lap. "When did you suspect you loved me?" Deborah asked seriously. Susan started to braid Deborah's black curls as she thought seriously. "Well.believe it or not it was during my first time having sex with a man." Deborah's eyes flew open and she pulled away and stared at Susan. "What? Its true!" Susan said defensively Deborah's brow furrowed "How did having sex with a guy make you think of me?" Susan pushed Deborah down to lay back down as she began to braid tiny braids all over her hair. "You have to let me tell the whole story." "I was fifteen. And Faye and I got really blitzed one night and went out of town. As we were walking along the street in some town I don't even remember. We lost each other and I was wandering some back alley and I was feeling lonely and I was thinking about you a lot and wishing we had brought you along. And this blond guy came up on a bicycle. He was pretty hot by anyone's standards and he asked me what I was doing. And I said walking." Deborah raised her eyebrows. "Does this have a point?" "Yes, shut up. So anyway.he asked it I wanted to get some adventure. Since I could barely walk I said sure. So I jumped on his handle bars of his bike. To this day I can still taste that wind. I knew it was dangerous and risky but I just didn't care. The wind in my face felt free and dry and hot. It blew my hair back and make me feel almost as if I could fly. He had to petal my heavy ass up hill and I had my arms outstretched the whole time. I thought I was going to heaven. It was funny as hell." Deborah chuckled.the thought of wanting sex so bad they would petal Susan's hundred and forty pound body uphill. But at the same time she felt like crying. This desperate jerk took Susan's innocence. "And while I was up there..I thought.Is this why Deborah loves that silly bike?" Susan stared up at the sky.suddenly she looked old. "He took me to his apartment and said we were just going to watch videos. But he kept bothering me about sex and I said I didn't want it. But he kept rubbing my thigh and telling me to try it. I had told him I was a virgin. So finally I just turned to him and exploded 'FINE! YOU! IN THE BED, NOW!' " Deborah laughed out-loud "He only had five inches and he was uncut.and he was so happy and nervous as he put on the condom I felt sorry for him. I got undressed and let him hump me into the mattress. It hurt like hell.and he kept trying to touch me.and kiss me and I just avoided him. I wanted to give him a bad time. I felt bitter. He did this strange rolling of the hips thing and I snapped 'what are you trying to do? Get technique?' and he said he just wanted to get me off and I said don't worry I'm getting off. I checked my watch over his shoulder." Deborah looked amused. "It hurt so bad..and as I stared at him..he just looked wrong. And I got this flash of you. And I realized I was angry and upset because compared to you.he was disgusting. I wasn't wet and the rubber made me hurt for days. And I ran home and when I got home I called you just to talk and you said I could come over and have a beer with you.that you were happy to see me. And I hung up on you and started to cry. I was so upset and disappointed because,. I had sex for the first time and you weren't there..worse.somewhere a little voice whispered that I wanted it to be you. And I thought, Why did I want you there?" They stared into each others eyes and Deborah wiped a tear from Susan's eyes. Susan didn't remember it falling. Deborah smiled, a brief flash of white teeth. "Don't worry.that won't happen to you again. And I'll always be there.I think you'll get sick of me before I leave." And they rubbed noses. The shit that happened.it was history. Right now, life was good, and they were in love.